i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The air was thick with penises
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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