New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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