pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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