well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.