Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?

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(973): Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night? http://tfl.nu/mwh9

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(206): View more from Washington

got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache

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(206): got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache http://tfl.nu/qh4z

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(805): View more from California

I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.

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(805): I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/p5hg

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(606): View more from Kentucky

That's why Kanye is a gay fish.

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(606): That's why Kanye is a gay fish. http://tfl.nu/hy3e

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(205): View more from Alabama

i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers

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(205): i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers http://tfl.nu/g3p7

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(850): View more from Florida

I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.

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(850): I don't remember much but I know I looked hot. http://tfl.nu/1lsd

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(973): View more from New Jersey

So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it

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(973): So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it http://tfl.nu/ct20

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(207): View more from Maine

And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.

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(207): And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition. http://tfl.nu/ff1h

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.

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(414): I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting. http://tfl.nu/tfdu

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(734): View more from Michigan

I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.

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(734): I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now. http://tfl.nu/ty03

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(937): View more from Ohio

Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.

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(937): Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams. http://tfl.nu/nyo6

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(816): View more from Missouri

im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death

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(816): im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death http://tfl.nu/dz9y

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(206): View more from Washington

I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.

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(206): I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month. http://tfl.nu/ayye

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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.

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(970): I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh. http://tfl.nu/93er

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.

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(615): Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast. http://tfl.nu/ki2v

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