Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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