her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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