Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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