i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
