Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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