Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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