ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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