Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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