I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
