im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..