I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.