I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
