She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you didnt know i had herpes?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
