and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
