Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
