do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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