Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
