nut hugger
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
