First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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