the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
