Three words: puerto rican gang bang
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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