my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
