Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
