Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
