nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
