Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize