is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
