you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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