I hate all girls vehemently.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
