My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
