he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
