): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
