There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
