YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize