I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Couch. On fire.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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