Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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