I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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