Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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