I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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