I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
