people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
