I love black thongs
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My vagina is officially offended.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
