JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
As shirtless as possible
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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