Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
