you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
