brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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