Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
