that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
