I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
