That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
What a dumb baby whore.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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