just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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