You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
