i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I will be naked everywhere
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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