On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
