Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
