I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize