WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
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i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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