This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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