i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
