What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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